MissMuffins31
Junior Member
3/8/08 Always & Forever, Clay.
Posts: 124
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Post by MissMuffins31 on Sept 24, 2008 17:13:17 GMT -8
I think the Mod's should put a topic in where we can post fanfictions and such. I have a fic that maybe you'll be interested in. But after Clay "coming out", I havent had alot of inspiration. I started writing it before all this happened..But here it is so far. please dont flame it...i know im not that great of a writer but.. enjoy it... _____________ The Letter Chapter One "Never Tool Close" Catherine was writing a love letter. She never thought she'd find herself in a situation where she had to write someone a love letter. She always thought she would be brave enough to tell someone she was in love with them. But this time, it was different. She only knew Clay for a little over a year, but a year is a lot of time for your heart to fall for someone. Being one of three of his backup singer's meant that there wasn't a lot of time to have a relationship. Tensions were high and arguments broke out between the four of them during long nights. Sometimes she felt bad for Clay, being stuck on a tour bus with three other women must not be very fun. Writing by the light of her dying flashlight, Catherine finished the last sentence and signed her name in the neatest cursive she could. Squinting, she re-read it a total of four times before tucking it away in an envelope and stuffing it under her pillow. She felt a bit childish as she laid back down in her bottom bunk. She felt like she was in high school again, writing someone and asking them to go to homecoming with her. How pathetic she thought she was. But, again this time was different. Clay was one of her best friends, and she had some how fallen for him. She denied it for a good month until finally admitting it to herself and a few of her friends that she was in love with him. She new very well that love is a strong word to use, but there was no other word to describe how she felt when she was around him. The noise of Clay's watch beeping above her told her that it was three thirty a.m. She let out a long, tired sigh and rubbed her eyes. Trying not to think of the man sleeping in the bunk above her and yet she couldn't help herself. Every time her mind thought about him, she would feel a little happier inside. Remembering all the times when she would catch him looking at her, or when their hands would accidentally touch. His beautiful hands. Catherine stopped herself from starting to swoon over him like a lovesick schoolgirl. She felt like one of his fans. Always begging to get a piece of him, not caring about their dignity. How they would scream when he'd take his jacket off… She unwillingly began thinking about times when he would 'flirt' with fans purposely, knowing they would flirt back. (They were all such terrible flirters) Or when she would sit and watch Clay dance like he was at a nightclub with Quiana or Angela. But never danced with her. Catherine shook her head, jealousy will get you nowhere, she thought. Tossing and turning in the dark while thoughts of Clay haunted her mind. An hour passed, then two. Five a.m. As tired as she felt, Catherine decided that she wasn't about to get any sleep. Rolling out of her bunk and onto the floor, she got up and put on her pink bathrobe. Catherine loathed pink. But the cold morning air of Toronto called for some warmth. She turned on the coffee machine and sat down on the sofa while waiting for it to brew. Her mind began to wander again. What if he didn't like her the way she liked him. Their friendship would never survive something like this. And if he did? Then what would happen? They would get together? The paparazzi would eat that up. It would prove to them something that they've been badgering him about for years. But the aggravation like having your picture taken while you're trying to eat and then being plastered all over news stand was not her idea of a healthy relationship. Especially with the temper Clay get sometimes. But what about the pro's of being together? She would have to think about that when it happens. The coffee machine beeped and she poured herself a cup of hot stemming coffee and sat back down. For being summer it was a bit chilly. She took a sip of her strong coffee and another thought came to her. How was she going to give the letter to him? Writing it might as well be called the easy part. Could she just hand it to him? That would be awkward, just standing there and watching him read it. What would she say to him after? That was definitely out of the question. So maybe she could stick it in his mail. But then it might be mistaken as fan mail. It wouldn't be opened for days. Catherine sighed and took another long sip of her coffee. Why was everything in life so difficult? She thought. A small grunt and then an aggravated sigh came from the bunks as two feet appeared dangling from the bunk above Catherine's. She could her face growing very warm and looked down at her coffee as Clay climbed down from his bed. It was suddenly a little to warm for a bathrobe. Clay stretched his arms and yawed as he turned to face the small kitchen area. He froze when he saw Catherine sitting on the sofa but quickly covered it with his famous half smile. "Isn't it a bit early for you to be up?" He asked "Couldn't sleep." She replied taking another sip of her coffee "I heard you writing something last night." He said pouring himself a cup Catherine's throat went slightly dry "I wasn't writing. I was reading something. A book I picked up in New York." "Really." He said sitting down next to her "You'll let me barrow it sometime. I haven't read a good book in ages." "I will." She said making a mental note to pick up a book somewhere. No one said anything for a few minutes, and the only sounds that were heard were the two of them sipping their coffees. Then he said, "Quiana can't sing tonight." "What?" she said looking at him "She can't sing. She lost her voice last night. Remember how it was cracking all night? Well she told me last night that she didn't think she'd be able to sing. So would you be interested in filling in her part?" He asked with a smile "I'd love to." Catherine said a bit flattered Clay didn't say anything, he just smiled and the two of them went back to their coffee. *** If Clay thought Catherine sang her heart out when she auditioned for him, that was nothing compared to what she did that night. It had only a few minutes after Clay had told her she'd be filling in for Quiana, when she remembered she had to sing "I Want To Know What Love Is" with him. Wanting to impress him so badly, she rehearsed that song, and a few others, with Quiana and Angela for 2 hours until it was perfect. It was sure to impress him. And of course it did. When we finished he grabbed her hand and told the crowd to cheer for her and didn't let go until they stopped. His hand was so warm… That night after the concert Catherine went back to the bus early. She was exhausted. She was only running on two cups of coffee and maybe an hour of sleep. After slipping into her silk pajamas she sat on the edge of her bottom bunk and tired to say awake a few minutes more. Her eyes were barley open, but her decision was that she was going to leave the letter on top of his bed. She took the letter out from under her pillow and unfolded it. With every inch of her body protesting she stood up and began pacing. Leaning up against the counter she finished reading it and suddenly had a feeling that this was all a very bad idea. "Catherine?" In all of her life, Catherine had never jumped so high when she saw Clay standing on the stairs of the bus, holding his red duffle bag. She quickly hid the letter behind her back and tried to act casual by putting her hand on the sink and leaning. "What're you doing?" He asked in his slight southern drawl "Nothing. Just looking for a snack." She said nervously "What's that you're hiding?" "I'm not hiding anything." "Yeah, okay." He said advancing on her, Catherine stepped back a bit. "What, did you get a letter from your lover back in New York?" He said with a smile standing before her "No! Not exactly." Clay smirked at her and reached behind her but Catherine jerked away. He tried again this time from the other side, but she stepped backwards only to find a wall behind her. "C'mon Catherine. I'm not about to go telling people. I'm just curious. I show you my letters. Let me read it, please." "I'd rather you not-" Clay tried again and this time grabbed her wrist from behind and did the same with the other. He gave her a smirk as she tried to get away. "There's no getting away now." He said playfully And Catherine realized he was right and stopped fidgeting. She also realized something else. How close he was to her. He must have realized the same, because the smile he had seemed to fade. His emerald green eyes starring into her hazel ones. His nose was barley a foot away from her own; his shell pink lips were slightly parted. His hands were hot against the flesh on her wrists and there was a very intense swooping sensation in her stomach. Her throat seemed to be closing up. Catherine's heart thudded violently against her ribcage and she suddenly felt a throb between her legs as she realized how close his chest was to hers. The heat in the room was suddenly unbearable as she stood looking up at him. His hands holding her wrists against her back. She could feel herself sweating. His eyes grazed over her face, over her auburn curls, and stopped at her mouth. Catherine's heart jumped. This was all a little too much for her to handle. ***
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MissMuffins31
Junior Member
3/8/08 Always & Forever, Clay.
Posts: 124
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Post by MissMuffins31 on Sept 24, 2008 17:13:33 GMT -8
Chapter Two "Aftershock of Your Actions"
Clay's mouth was less that a foot away from Catherine's when he suddenly shook his head and pulled away. Letting go of her two wrists and walking away leaving Catherine pinned up against the wall and somewhere between the emotions of anger and disappointment. He walked over and picked up his duffel bag that he'd dropped on his way in. Catherine clutched the letter in her fist and scowled at his back. He turned around, closed the door to the bathroom and locked it. What was that all about? Why did he do that? Leading her on and then just walking away and not saying a word? Anger burned inside Catherine as she stood waiting with her arms crossed in front of the bathroom door. Was their something wrong with her? Or maybe he pulled away because he already had a girlfriend, Catherine thought wildly. The door opened with a click and with immense anger she shoved the letter at his chest. "Read it." She said angrily Clay took the letter from her with a frown. He knew what he did but was trying very hard to avoid the subject. He began reading the letter and with every sentence his face became redder and his eyes a bit wider. Catherine searched his face for a smile or something to show that they shared the same emotions. But none came. Little by little the anger dispersed from Catherine and replaced itself with fear and embarrassment. Catherine could see that he finished reading but his eyes were fixated at one point. Her name. "This is from you?" he asked looking up at her "Yes." Catherine said avoiding his eyes If it were even possible his face went even deeper red as he looked from the letter to Catherine. She was regretting it dearly now giving him the letter. "Catherine…I-I don't know what to say to this…" Now she felt really stupid "I…just wanted to tell you. But I was afraid to." Clay said nothing. "In case…maybe you felt the same or something." "Catherine…I love you, but I love you like a friend." "A friend?" Catherine said tearing her gaze away from the floor "A good friend." He said She could see that he was obviously trying not to hurt her. She actually felt a little bad for him. If she were in his shoes, she wouldn't know what to say either. But she was in her own shoes, and as much as Clay was trying very hard not to hurt her, he did. "Yeah." She said trying to act normal "Right. Friends. Best Friends." She smiled the best fake smile she could muster and watched him as he smiled back and pulled her into a hug. She bit her lip as she rested her head on his shoulder. Her eyes burning from trying to keep the tears from streaming down her face. He let go and gave her a reassuring smile before climbing into his bed and calling it a day. Catherine felt numb as she sat back down on her bed. Slumped over, she felt terrible. How could she have been so stupid? Giving him a love letter? Of all things. Why did she even have to tell him? Some things are better kept a secret. She felt the tension in her chest build up as tears burned the sides of her face. The make-up that she'd forgotten to take off smeared the sides of her cheeks. Her hands were shaking slightly as she covered her face. Her tears showed no signs of letting up. "Cath?" Catherin looked up and for the second time that night saw someone standing on the stairs of the bus. This time it was Quiana and Angela. She put her finger up to her mouth and then pointed to the bunk above her. They both got the message that Catherine didn't want Clay to here her cry. That would just make matters worse. She'd already done enough damage that night. XXX The next day Catherine could see that Clay was trying to act as though nothing had happened. Making jokes and laughing over things that someone would normally only chuckle over was he way of frying to act casual. But Catherine wanted no part in it. It's not that she was mad at Clay, she was just hurt. It wasn't his fault that she'd confronted him with a love letter. Asking him to love her back. She couldn't blame Clay for wanting to forget the whole ordeal, she wanted to forget it too. But somethings are harder to forget. Especially when it changes something you held dearly to your heart. As Catherine sat up on stage that night, she could barley keep her concentration. Her mind felt like a broken record player, replaying his words over and over again. Just friends she thought to herself. "You okay?" "Hu?" Catherine looked up and saw Clay standing a foot next to her with his back turned to the crowd. "Oh yeah. I'm fine." She said "Are you ready?" he asked as the orchestra began to play Catherine realized that she was still filling in for Quiana, meaning she still had to sing "I Want to Know What Love Is." With a lump in her throat she nodded. Clay turned around to face the crowd and sand the opening line to them. "I gotta take a little time; A little time to think things over. I better read between the lines; incase I need it when I'm older." Catherine's hands were shaking, but she tried to keep calm as she began to sing. What was wrong with her? "Now this mountain I must climb. Feels like the world upon my shoulders. Through the clouds I see love shine, it keeps me warm as life grows colder." "In my life, there's been heartache and pain. I don't know if I can face it again. Can't stop now, I've traveled so far, to change this lonely life." They both began to sing, both looking at each other. "I wanna know what love is. I want you to show me. I wanna feel what love is. I know you can show me. " His face was close to hers and she was sure he could see the water in her eyes. But he couldn't stop smiling. Not in front of his fans. She could see the concern in his eyes when he kept singing. Walking around Catherine on her stool as her head fallowed him. They both finished the last verse of the song, both smiling. The crowd was cheering and for the second time in two days, Clay took her hand and told the crowd to cheer. Was he doing this for a reason besides the obvious? After the crowd stopped cheering he still didn't let go. The next song began to play and he began to sing on his own. Catherine's face began to grow redder as the ladies in the front row began to whisper and point. Clay looked down at the two ladies, smiled and slowly let go of her hand. Holding onto her fingers before walking away and resuming his seat. And for the first time that day, Catherine was smiling a real smile. XXX
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MissMuffins31
Junior Member
3/8/08 Always & Forever, Clay.
Posts: 124
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Post by MissMuffins31 on Sept 24, 2008 17:14:00 GMT -8
Chapter Three The concert was coming to a close as the house lights turned up. Everyone gave a small bow to the crowd, waved and exited off the stage into the cramped hallway outside the stage door. "Three hours and forty-eight minutes." Catherine heard Jesse Vargas say as he closed the stage door behind him "Almost seems longer." True, Catherine thought it did seem longer. Almost four hours set on stage and she felt exhausted. Why? They'd been touring for almost three weeks now. Why should this be hitting them now? Catherine felt drained and mind you, she was only singing the background vocals along with Angela tonight. She wondered if Clay was as tired as she was. -Clay. Something crashed back down on her as she felt her stomach give a lurch. She, somehow had forgotten what he'd done tonight. She couldn't blame herself for forgetting the small action it was, but then she felt foolish that she did forget it. Feeling her face turn slightly red at the thought of their hands locked, she looked down at her feet as she walked down the, what seemed to be, extremely long hallway. Its not like it's a big deal, she though. He obviously had to take her hand again tonight, seeing as he'd done it the night before. It might look weird if he didn't. Even so, she knew very well that he had seen her red-rimmed eyes when the two of them were singing; maybe that was why he held on for so long. Maybe that was why he gave her hand a squeeze before letting go. And maybe that was why he held onto her hand for so long. Those hands of his that she'd been infatuated with since the day she saw them. Long and thin, perfect was what she thought. Holding onto hers. She remembered them being warm, but not sweaty, like the rest of him was. Catherine watched his head bob up and down as he currently walked in front of Angela and her. She scrutinized his hair from the back and thought that he was becoming lazy with it. Curling up in the back from not straightening it, and slightly greasy in its way, she still found him attractive for some reason. She shook her head. She'd always had bad taste in men. She gave a sigh to herself and watched as Clay gave a small wave to the two of them as he entered his dressing room. Angela and her walked down to the end of the hallway where their dressing room was located, when Angela turned to her. "So, what's going on between you two?" She asked jerking her thumb in the direction of Clay's dressing room. "Nothing." Catherine said defensively "Seriously." She added when Angela gave her a dirty look. "You know what happened. I gave him the letter and he told me we're only friends. I already told you this." "I know. But I thought there was more to the story your not telling me or something. I was just curious, seeing as you're all he talks about now a day. Or the way he always looks at you with that special look in his eyes." Catherine admitted to herself that she saw nothing different in the way he looked at her from the way he looked at everyone else. But the observation was from someone else's point of view, so it must be true. Even so, Catherine must have blended in with the maroon wall behind her when what Angela said finally registered in her head. Knowing better then to ask what he said about her she quickly tried to let the subject die. "N-no. Nothings going on between us." She said in a voice that made it sound like it was absurd what Angela was thinking. Of course it was Catherine thought after. "Seriously." "Alright." Angela said almost rolling her eyes "I already got my stuff out of the room. I'm gonna head to the bus now. See you." She hitched up her purse on her shoulder and began walking down the ridiculously long hallway, giving a small wave back to her. Shaking her head, Catherine opened the door to her broom-closet like dressing room and sat down at her small mirror that was perched up on the make-up table. She gave herself a good look. So he talked about her? She wonder about what now, regretting not asking. Her imagination began acting up as it always did and drew a scene where Clay was confessing his undying love for Catherine to Quianna. Saying he was "Oh so too afraid to tell her." When Catherine shook her head away from the thought she almost laughed out loud. Was she really this dumb? And did she really have that bad of an imagination? He clearly said that the two were only friends. She was sure that's what they'd always be. She was also sure that what ever he talked about to them about her was strictly business talk. She gave a small smile in the mirror. Hoping that it would tell her that she was happy. But she really wasn't. The mirror was lying to her. She looked down at the make-up table and slowly began taking her make-up off, when there was a knock at the door. Assuming it to be Angela forgetting something she responded, "You don't need to knock." The door opened with a click to reveal, not Angela but Clay. Standing in his famous cargo shorts and North Carolina sweatshirt, he gave a small wave to her. "Hey." He said closing the door behind him slowly. She just looked at him. Feeling slightly embarrassed with half her make-up completely off one eye and on, on the other, she said hello back. "May I sit?" he asked indicated the other stool. "You don't need to ask." She replied going back to removing her eye make-up. He didn't say anything as he sat down and folded his hands. She watched him in the mirror as he looked at the back of her head. It didn't seem to be the taking off her make-up part that made her feel uncomfortable; it was more of the being in an extremely small room, with him watching her, that did it. "I'm sorry." He finally said Catherine turned around to face him, "For what?" He merely scratched his ear. "About the letter you gave me." He said "You don't need to be sorry." She said turning back around "I was foolish to give it to you anyway." "Doesn't matter. I saw your eyes all red tonight. And I know you've been crying over this." "Maybe I wasn't crying. Maybe it was just because I was singing." She said defensively, rubbing her make-up off a little more aggressively. "It's not like I haven't seen you sing before. I hired you remember? Your eyes don't tear when you sing." Fine, she thought to herself, you caught me. She watched him in the mirror as he twiddled his thumbs, still focusing on her auburn curls. "I'm sorry I hurt you." "You didn't hurt me." "You're a bad liar." He frowned "I heard you crying that night." Catherine's face turned red in the mirror "I'm sorry I woke you." She said stiffly "You didn't. I never feel asleep. Hints the tired expression tonight. And you shouldn't be apologizing about anything. I would have done the same thing, giving someone a letter. I personally don't have the balls to do it myself." Catherine's face turned slightly red at that last sentence, but he continued "I actually did do it a few times in high school." "But that's just it." She said putting her make-up remover down, still not turning to look at him "I felt stupid after I handed it to you. I was angry and I shouldn't have given it to you. I felt like some stupid teenager." Clay gave a small, almost undetectable sigh, hoping that she wouldn't bring up the incident that happened before he was aggressively handed a letter. "I understand why you did it." He said watching her hand fiddle with her make-up remover "But that's not why I'm here. I'm here because I know I hurt you. It hurt me just as much to hear you cry that night. There's really nothing worse then to hear a woman cry. Especially when its your fault. Catherine looked back up at herself in the mirror, watching her eyes start to brim in tears again. "So I just came to tell you, that I'm sorry I hurt you." She watched him as he talked. His expression was appropriate for that of a funeral. She could only imagine the position he was in. One of his best friends telling them they were in love with him. Catherine would personally be shocked if such thing happened to her, And then to not have the same emotions back? With that thought Catherine felt a tinge in her chest and felt a tear burn down her cheek. She let go of her remover and quickly wiped it away, but she wasn't quick enough. She felt his hand on her shoulder and he pulled her to face him. Letting his hand travel down her arm to retrieve her hand. "I love you as a friend, Catherine. You know that." He said in his southern drawl "I'm sorry." He looked away from her face and out the cellar looking window to the night sky. "You know what'll happen if we dated, Cath. It would be everywhere-, and my already declining privacy would be completely gone, as well as yours." Catherine nodded again and took in a ragged breath as he looked back at her. As hard as she tried she couldn't keep another few tears from burning her cheeks as she blinked. "Cath, I can't stand seeing you like this. Especially on my account." He let go of her hand and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "Stop crying now. I'm not even worth it really." Catherine attempted a smile but the muscles in her face wouldn't allow it. He grabbed her hand once more and they both stood up and looked at each other. "I'm really not." She let out a small hiccup laugh and wiped away another tear from her eye. "I'll see you on the bus, in a few minutes. We have a hotel tonight, so you don't have to sleep above the motor of the bus." He said Catherine nodded and accepted the hug he offered. She placed her head on his shoulder and took in his sent. The two of them stayed hugging each other, swaying on the spot until he pulled away. Giving a small wave back to her, he picked up he bag and closed the door behind him with a click. Hope you like it...its all ive got so far.
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Post by Aiken4ClayInSeattleWA on Sept 24, 2008 19:31:21 GMT -8
I like it, keep going
Heather
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MissMuffins31
Junior Member
3/8/08 Always & Forever, Clay.
Posts: 124
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Post by MissMuffins31 on Oct 24, 2008 18:42:21 GMT -8
Chapter Four "He's Your Best Friend."
The air-conditioner in the small hotel room was blasting. Maryland was having a heat wave, something that doesn't happen very often. And of course, it had to be on the day they were having an outdoor concert. Fanning herself with this morning's paper, Catherine laid uncovered on her single bed in a pair of "short-shorts." If there was anything she hated more then the color pink, it was short-shorts. But it seemed that with weather today, she couldn't avoid wearing them. Not that she would ever be caught dead in them in public. Angela on the other hand, was wearing her normal attire: a nice shirt and Capri pants. Nothing different for the 90-something degree weather today. The two of them were sharing a room together this time around. Usually, if they had to get places before a certain time the next day, they would sleep on the bus. But occasionally, they would be blessed with a hotel room. But today, making no difference weather you were on the tour bus or in a small hotel room- the weather was still going to get to you. "Aren't you sweating?" Catherine asked Angela as she walked out of the bathroom, purse in hand. "No. Not really." She replied casually, rummaging threw her purse "The heat usually doesn't get to me much." "Lucky you." Catherine said acidly laying her head back down on the pillow and adjusting the newspaper. Angela sat on the other single bed and started emptying out her purse. Before Catherine could ask what she was looking for, Angela asked her something else "Are you coming to lunch with us or not?" "What? Oh, …yeah." "Hurry up too. We have to be at the venue at 1 o'clock." Angela added Catherine sighed and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She grabbed, what she thought, were more appropriate shorts to wear out in public out of her suitcase. She closed the small bathroom door behind her and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess. That was one of the bad things about having curly hair; it's always frizzy when you wake up in the morning. Especially when you've been tossing all night. Before, when she was lying in bed at 7 this morning, she had been thinking. She had convinced herself that it was the heat that was keeping her awake all night. But it really wasn't and she knew it. It was Clay. Not really Clay himself, but the thought of him. His words that still haunted her mind since last week. She didn't understand why her mind was making such a big deal out of this. She couldn't see why she couldn't just forget about this. Its not like she hadn't been rejected before. She remembered in high school being rejected to homecoming by one of her friend's older brother that was a senior. Of course, she sulked for a few days, but she got over it and had fun anyway. So why couldn't she do that now? Just forget about everything that had happened and just go back to having fun. This was surely no fun at all. She still tried to avoid making conversation with him, because every time she would look at him, at his eyes, her face would burn scarlet. She wished for the day when she could look into his green eyes again and not feel a tinge of sadness. Shaking her head away from thoughts of him again, she took the hair tie off her wrist and put her tightly curled hair into a somewhat neat bun. She quickly put on some make-up and slipped into her short sleeve shirt and longer shorts. She reached for the lock, and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She looked at herself. This wasn't her. This wasn't the woman that she knew she was, this was her being depressed. For what reason, she didn't know. But from that moment, Catherine knew she wanted to change that. There was a knock on the door and Angela's voice rang from the other side "Hurry up." She said Catherine sighed and opened the door, coming face to face with Clay. Taking a step back and blinking a few times, Catherine smiled and waved as if she'd expected him to be hovering over the bathroom door. He kind of waved back. "Alrighty then, lets go." "Isn't Quiana coming?" Catherine asked "No, her and Jesse said they'd like to sleep in." Angela said closing the hotel room behind her Catherine nodded. Feeling a little unease. What if Angela left them alone? Then she'd have to talk to him. Wait. What was she talking about? Clay was her best friend. So why on Earth should she have a hard time talking to him? Thoughts like these flooded her mind the entire ride there. Going back and forth between her heart and her mind. Neither giving up the fight. It was Clays turn to pick where to go for lunch, so he chose a café he'd went to before American Idol, and all that. He described it as "A small, quaint place with lots of old folks and good food." Good food to him and good food to Catherine were to totally different foods. He had grown up with southern food. Meaning, everything was fried. If they could, those southern people would fry you up grease and serve it to you. Were as Catherine grew up around Italian food. Pasta on Sunday afternoons, soup during the week and then order-out for pizza on Fridays. Nothing special, but Clay thought it was out of this world for some reason. As did Catherine on his style of food. The car drove up to the curb of this small café. There was an iron gate surrounding the few outdoor tables. No one seemed to look up as they got out of the car. No one seemed to recognize him. That, she thought, was a good thing. The last time they'd gone out for lunch, they were swarmed with fans. One girl almost fainted. "It's a good thing no ones fainting over you today Clay." Angela said nudging him in the side "I'm not helping anyone off the floor today." "You spoke to soon." Catherine said. She pointed to a skinny, redheaded waitress who saw Clay and almost dropped an entire tray of food onto a gentleman's lap. She caught it, but got a dirty look from the man. Clay chuckled as they seated themselves outside. "I just don't understand it." He said watching the girl. She looked up at him and her face turned maroon. Angela and Clay began to talk about the concert later the afternoon, but Catherine was still watching the waitress threw the window. It seemed that she was begging another waitress to go weigh on them, but the other wasn't budging. Finally, after a few minutes of arguing the redheaded waitress bucked up the courage to come over. Her voice was shaky as she introduced herself as Tiffany. Tiffany tried the best she could to keep calm as she took their orders and returned with their drinks. She just barley missed Catherine's head as she turned around with the tray. "Well at least there's one fan here Clay." Angela said "One's better than none." "One's better than twenty." He said "Cheers to that." Catherine said. Angela nodded in agreement. The two of them went back to their conversation, but Catherine didn't join in. Having and outdoors concert in 90-degree weather wasn't something to look forward to. The sun beating down on their necks, sweating threw two pairs of clothes. If there was one thing that amazed Catherine about Clays fans, were that they are the most dedicated fans ever. They would and will do anything an everything for him. Even if it means standing out in the pouring rain or in 100-degree Texas weather, just to get a glimpse of him. That's commitment, Catherine thought as she watched his fingers tap the sides of his glass. There was certainly something about those hands and fingers that made Catherine swoon like one of his fans. Sometimes she felt like she should be the one in the stands and not being up on stage next to him. She watched his fingers play an invisible beat against the glass for a few minutes. Unaware that the two of them had stopped talking and were watching her, watch him. He stopped drumming his fingers and Catherine snapped out of her daydream and found herself being looked at. Her face turned crimson. Feeling overly embarrassed, Catherine could have hugged the redheaded waitress as she came back with their food. And again, barley missing Catherine with the tray. She couldn't believe she was just caught staring at his hands. It surly wasn't the first time, but after all this… Fifteen minutes or so passed as they finished up their lunches. Angela kept looking between the two of them; you could tell her mind was working. And soon enough, she put down her fork and gave a smile to Catherine. "I'll be right back. Bathroom." Catherine's heart dropped. Angela got up and pointed towards Clay's back "Talk!" she mouth to her. Clay looked up from his lunch and tilted his head. She blinked a few times; she couldn't believe what Angela had just done. Making a mental note to get her back with something. She gave a small gulp. This is easy, she thought. He's your best friend, why should anything be any different then it was before. "So…" He said stabbing a piece of lettuce with his fork "So…" Catherine replied feeling nervous She hadn't had a real conversation with Clay since that night last week. Sure they had a few words here and there, but that was all. Sitting very close to each other…alone…and at a table that was really meant for two, was kind of forcing them to talk. If they didn't, it was a way to make it obvious. He put his folk down and let out a small sigh. Catherine was trying to act calm as her fingers played with the napkin on the table. She tried to look anywhere she could, except for at him. Until something caught her eye across the street. A man, dress completely in black, sitting at a table with a camera in his hands. Catherine's mind momentarily left her nervousness and thought it was nice that there were still photographers who used old cameras around. But the man kept looking over at them, which made her feel a little uncomfortable. She suddenly felt something warm on her hand and quickly jerked her head away from the man in black. She looked down and saw his hand atop of hers. His eyes watching her. "You okay?" he asked Catherine looked at him, very aware of her burning ears. She really needed to get rid of her blushing problem. "I'm fine." She said casually He scrunched his eyebrows together and said, "You don't look fine." "No…really. I am." Catherine's hand was turning very warm that it was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Yet at the same time, she wished he wouldn't pull away. He pressed his lips together and nodded. "You just haven't really said anything to me in awhile. You know?" he hesitated then said, "I thought you were over all this…" You could tell that he really didn't want to say that, but there was no other way to finish the question. Catherine frowned and felt a little angry "Why are you bringing this up?" Clay let go of her hand and even thought it was 90 degrees out, her hand felt very cold. Clay looked at her. He looked like he was having some internal struggle then he finally said, "Because I want my friend back." Catherine felt a sudden burst of anger and sadness towards him. She didn't really know what to say to that. But her mind thought of something quicker then her heart did. "You're going to have to wait then." She grabbed her purse and left Clay sitting alone putting his head in his hands. She burst into the café and walked past the redheaded waitress who just happened to see what happened. Tiffany had an expression on that was something along the lines of "I can't believe you just walked away from Clay Aiken." It wasn't the first time that a friend had purposely left her with someone she liked. Many times actually. She'd been angry then, but it had nothing on now. She slammed the door open to the women's bathroom and found Angela leaning against the sink looking at her phone. "Don't you ever do that to me again, Angela!" "Why is that?" Angela said not looking up from her phone "Because." Catherine said struggling to find a better come back. "You know d**n well why." Angela put her phone back in her pocket and looked up. "Is it because you're afraid to talk to one of your best friends? Is being alone with him too much for you to handle? What do you think is going to happen? He knows what he did, and he apologized. So what's the big deal here? This isn't high school anymore, Catherine. You have to stick up for yourself and face him yourself. He's your best friend." Catherine's throat was dry "I'm just trying to help." Angela added going back to her phone "I think he's sick of seeing you like this. We all are. I know it's your first tour in all, and we've known each other for around a year, but seriously. We're friends, and I know you know better then to be upset over a guy. Trust me…he's not worth it." "That's what he said…" Catherine said watching herself talk in the mirror "It's not that I think he's not worth it. Its just…its stupid to waste time over guys that you know might not ever get." She let out a sigh, "Did you know I asked him out a few years ago?" "What?" Catherine said almost laughing "Oh yeah. I asked him out when we were doing the Jukebox Tour in 2005. It was pretty funny after. I got over it obviously. At least he spared you and didn't tell the whole audience." "He told the audience?" Catherine asked "Its probably on Youtube or something." Catherine laughed a little. So someone had been in the same boat as she is in now. Except her boat is sinking. "I just want you to be happy. And I want Clay to be happy. And as I see it, I think you two would look nice together." Angela said It was when people said things like that, that made Catherine believe again. Believe that she would be the one to capture that mans heart that so many women have tried to do. "But, seriously." Angela said tearing Catherine away from her staring into space "You might just want to give this one up."
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MissMuffins31
Junior Member
3/8/08 Always & Forever, Clay.
Posts: 124
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Post by MissMuffins31 on Oct 24, 2008 18:42:43 GMT -8
Chapter Five "The Tabloids"
Catherine's junky sports watched beeped five thirty. They had just gotten off stage in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and were completely drenched in sweat. Apparently the heat wave wasn't just in Maryland. Catherine felt discussing as she felt her clothes sticking to herself. She had changed her clothes during intermission, but it was almost no use. The heat was almost unbearable. Even Angela, who said she could apparently take the weather, was fanning herself threw out the entire concert with a few sheets of paper. The nice folks, as Clay called them, who owned and ran the venue kept on bringing them bottles of ice-cold water. It helped a little, but it made bathroom breaks more frequent. Clay must have gone threw two bottle of Vitamin water. "I call shotgun on shower." Angela laughed passing by Catherine smiled a little and sighed. That was another down side to touring: you had to remember to call shotgun. "I'm just going to get my bag from the hotel room and use the shower on the bus. Okay Angie?" Catherine said watching her as she walked a few steps ahead. "Fine with me." She replied, "I don't know where Clay went, he might already be on the bus. You might want to look out for him. Just don't open the bathroom door if you know he's in there." She laughed Catherine shook her head. She knew what Angela was getting at, and no, she would never do it on purpose. But just the thought of it made her blush. She shook her head away from the thought. *** Catherine dried herself off in the small bus bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Nothing has changed she thought to herself. She's still the same person she always was. Right? She shouldn't let a man take over her emotions. It was just a thought that kept popping up in her head. She wanted to believe she was alright, that this whole faze would pass, that her and Clay would become close friends again like they always were, and that she'd see herself as happy and content again. Hopefully soon. She just needed time go get over all this. These thoughts were nothing out of the ordinary for her lately. Two and a half weeks had passed, and that should be more then enough time to get over something as silly as this…right? Of course, she thought reaching for her clothes. She watched herself in the mirror as her hand groped the floor for them; she looked down and saw that there was nothing there but tile. "d**n." She said to herself Wrapping the towel more snuggly around herself she opened the door a small crack to see if anyone was out there. The coast was clear and she opened it all the way and headed over to her suitcase that was lying on her bunk. The air on the bus was much cooler then it was in the bathroom. The air conditioner must have been blasting, sending a small chill up her spine as she felt water droplets from her hair fall from her shoulders. "I can't believe this!" She heard someone say as the door to the bus opened Catherine stood up quickly and took a sharp intake of breath as she found herself, yet again standing before Clay alone. This time, it was a little more awkward as he stopped in front of the couch and noticed her standing before him. She pulled her clothes up across her chest and held on to the towel for dear life. If you were to say that Catherine's face was the redder of the two, it would be a lie. He blinked in shock, as he looked over her half covered self. Never in her life had she been more aware of herself. Feeling fat, awkward and down right foolish she pointed her toes together like a little schoolgirl and looked down. "Sorry." She said quickly She quickly ran into the bathroom, feeling extremely embarrassed. He had just seen her half naked- in a towel of all things. She had never loved the way her body looked. She was definitely curvy, not something she liked. And definitely not something she would want to show off, especially in front of Clay, of all people. And he had looked at her. Like, really looked her. For someone who was implying to be friends, he surely shouldn't have inspected her like that. Catherine blushed more as she shook her head in the mirror. Deep down, somewhere where she didn't want to notice, she was excited at what just happened. She came to her senses and pulled a pair of shorts and a shirt on and opened the door to the bathroom. Just pretend nothing happen, she told herself as she spotted him sitting on the couch flipping threw a magazine. Catherine knew immediately something was wrong. Just by the expression on his face as he looked up at her. It was tense, not something you'd normally see on someone like him. "What happened now?" she asked as the thought of her standing half naked in front of him slipped her mind completely. He held up the latest issue of People's Magazine, with some random actresses' face on the cover. "I take it you don't like her or something?" She asked, being completely serious He shook his head and pointed to the top right hand corner. She didn't know how she missed it, but in big, bold, size 13 font, was the words "Is Clay's backup singer, more then just a backup singer?" Catherine blushed terribly as she found herself looking at a picture from a few days before of the two of them sitting outside the café. Her eyes traveled to his face as he pressed his lips together. "They completely ignored the fact that Angela was there too. They just like to make up stories." He said, "Anything for money, these people." Catherine sat down next to him, feeling a little tense in her chest; she let out a sigh and flung her head back. She looked up at the ceiling as he began reading the article inside to her. "Clay Aiken and his brilliant brunette - " "Brilliant brunette?" Catherine interrupted laughing "They already have it wrong." "Not entirely. I think it is." He said shrugging. Catherine looked at him feeling a little light hearted, "- backup vocalist, Catherine Ferraro were seen sitting outside Emerson's Café in Baltimore, Maryland this Thursday. The two are apparently just friends, but that's not what his fans seem to think. Here's something else to convince the unconvinced, the two were holding hands. -" It was a very bad time to take a drink of water for Catherine, for she had almost spit it completely out. Coughing a few times, he went on. "When asked about this Penny McCloud, one of Clay's hardcore fans which are otherwise known as 'Claymates,' said that she and the rest of his fans would be 'A-Okay' if their friendship blossomed into something more. She also went on to say that the two would look wonderful together and that he needs to 'spice up his love life.' A rumor of the two being together has been floating around the fandom since they began flirting with each other on the very first show of Clay's 2006 'Soft Rock Hard Place' Tour. How cute. And you thought he was gay." Clay shook his head as he finished. Catherine's ears were burning as she looked down at the floor. "We flirt?" She asked "Apparently." He said in his southern drawl Catherine nodded. She wasn't going to bring up the whole gay rumor thing. She knew it upsets him. Then she thought… they would look wonderful together? He needed to spice up his love life? Her heart was indeed between a rock and a hard place. She wanted to feel happy about this, that maybe he would realize that they really would look nice together and that they'd be perfect for each other. Well maybe not perfect…but close to it. But then she saw how upset he looked about it. She watched him as he stared at the floor. Why would this upset him so much? What was the big deal? It was just a rumor after all. Just a rumor. "It's just a rumor." She echoed her thoughts Clay looked up from the floor and looked at her. "I know." He said "There always there. There never good…just junk. You know?" Catherine felt her heart sink a little at the words Clay said. He saw her expression harden and sighed. "I said it before," he began "hypothetically, if we dated it would be on every news stand- cross country. The tabloids would make a big deal out of it, they already think I'm gay. We weren't even on a date and they just assumed we were. Anything for money, those people…" Catherine pursed her lips, "Why do you care what they think?" She said tilting her head to the side "They're suppose to be nothing to you. Remember, I was a fan before I was…this. I read your book; you always just ignored people picking on you. You said to forget what people think of you and go on with your life. Your going against your own word." Clay tried to get a word in edgewise but Catherine raised her hand to silence him. "Your just making up excuses. If you don't like me that way at all, then just tell me straight to my face." "It's not that I don't - " "And don't try to trick me into believe that you do." Catherine watched as he closed his mouth and tightened his lips shut. "So just forget about it." She muttered, "Maybe you were right. Maybe your not worth it." Catherine got up off the couch, and left him sitting there feeling lost for words.
____ IM SORRY! I hate making Clay look like the bad guy and Catherine look like a #*$#+. But trust me it'll pay off...just dont leave me. =;(
I hope you guys still like it. I've been working pretty hard on it. My english class is pretty boring, so its the perfect time to write a new chapter. Working on more. =)
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Post by Aiken4ClayInSeattleWA on Nov 9, 2008 23:04:32 GMT -8
That is really good!!! Please keep going
~Heather~
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MissMuffins31
Junior Member
3/8/08 Always & Forever, Clay.
Posts: 124
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Post by MissMuffins31 on Dec 12, 2008 14:44:25 GMT -8
Chapter Six "I Promise Myself"
"You're not being mean." Quiana said handing Catherine a cup of coffee.
It was three in the afternoon in Columbus, Ohio. The weather had taken a dramatic change. Going from boiling heat to seventy degrees in less than twelve hours traveling time was something to celebrate almost. But that wasn't the topic of discussion between the two this afternoon.
"How do you know?" Catherine said.
"Because I understand why you're upset." Quiana replied. "I just don't understand him sometimes."
"I don't think anyone really does. I also don't think that he messes with your brain on purpose. It's just the way you take things."
Catherine nodded. She felt angry with him. He was being a complete hypocrite about this. It was just the press, like he said; they would do anything for a cover story. Anything for a big pay check. Catherine wanted to think that the story was true, but she knew very well it was not.
"I read the article after." Quiana said, "They didn't even say Angela was there with you guys. They had to have known. I would do something about it, but it would really just encourage them to write another article on you or Clay."
Catherine sighed, "It's not the article that I'm mad about. I actually wish it were true." "I know you do." Quiana said with a smile.
Catherine smiled also and looked down at her coffee. But quickly shook her head.
"That's not what I'm getting at. Don't distract me with thoughts. What I'm mad about is him being a complete hypocrite about this. He always said don't listen to what people think about you, and stuff like that. So why is he getting mad at the press. I mean I understand, but…it's just…"
"You're rambling." Quiana said sitting next to her. "To be honest, I think you just found another reason to be angry with him for rejecting you."
Rejected. Catherine thought. The word always hit her hard. It always had. She closed her eyes and slumped over the table, holding onto her coffee. Maybe Quiana was right. Maybe that was why she was angry with him. He had practically insulted her. But then again, maybe she was just over reacting.
"It's not like I like being mad at him. I like talking to him."
Quiana nodded taking a sip of her coffee.
"Your not helping." Catherine sighed.
"Sorry. I was just thinking."
"Of what?"
"We're going to take you out."
Catherine looked at her. It wasn't a question. It was a statement.
"What?" She asked.
"You know, a night out on the town. Just you, Angie and me. You need some time with just us. Get away from Clay for a night and meet new people."
"A night on the town?" Catherine said skeptically, raising her eyebrows. "Me? Partying? I assume you expect me to flirt with guys I don't know too?"
"Well…yeah. That's the whole fun of it. You don't have to really talk to them. Just…get your mind of Clay. Wha'd'ya say?"
"I don't know…I guess. But where would we go…and when?"
"We have this Saturday off, remember? I can find some place to go. Trust me."
"Fine." Catherine said taking a sip of her coffee. She looked out the window at the bluish-gray sky. What if she really could just get over him in one night? That would be something. Just one night. Shouldn't be that hard. Right?
***
The summer sky was just barley setting over the horizon as Catherine packed herself into the back seat of the car. Her stomach was churning. Catherine may have looked the partying type on the outside, but deep down she wasn't. It's not that she didn't want to have fun, she was just afraid of feeling embarrassed. And she knew that there was no way she could get threw tonight without embarrassing herself at least once with her terrible dancing skills, and lack of…street knowledge, if you will.
She had been to a night club (which is where Quiana had chosen to go tonight) once before with her friends back home. Catherine clearly thought of it as a horrible nightmare that had actually happened. Although, a few of her other friends told her she was over reacting.
"You're going to have fun." Quiana said looking threw the rear-view mirror at her. "Stop looking like we're sentencing you to death."
"It's really not as bad as you think it is." Angela said, "It all depends on what you like. Don't listen to Clay about bars and such. He thinks there terrible."
They are. Catherine thought watching the trees roll by.
"No one's going to bother you. And if they do, they'll have to take it up with me." Angela said proudly.
Catherine smirked and placed her chin in her palm. Minutes passed and trees turned into buildings and those into bigger buildings as they passed. The streetlights glowed on the pavement and glared off cars passing the opposite way. She wished she were in those cars.
They finally pulled into a small parking lot with only a few streetlamps to light the way. You could barley see the yellow lines that showed your parking space and there were small holes every few feet. Catherine got out of the car and looked up at the large brick building standing before her. There were two big black doors and above them was a sign that read in big neon lighting "The Uptown."
"This is where we're going, I take it?" Catherine asked adjusting her shirt "Yeah. It's better inside. Trust me." Angela said.
The three of them walked threw the beaten up parking lot and showed a tall muscular man their ID's before entering. They walked though the doors and into a small black hallway, lit by black lights. They reached the end of the hallway, hearing music pounding on the other side of the door. She watched as Quiana opened the door.
The place was definitely no different then any other nightclub around. Bright lights flashing every which way and music pounding in Catherine's ears as the three of them wedged their way around groups of people. Some of which looked as thought they had come straight from the office, dressing in business clothes.
Catherine reached the long granite bar and hung over it. Looking up at the mirror above it and watching the bartender attend to customers at the other end. It looked like a typical night here. She looked at all the different beverages lined up against the back of the bar. She had never heard of any of them. Nor did she want to try them. The man next to her had a brown milky looking substance in his glass and drank it in one gulp. She watched as he staggered back to the dance floor.
Right there, Catherine promised herself that she wouldn't get drunk tonight. There was no way she was making a fool out of herself that way. She could be sober and do that.
When the bartender reached their side, Quiana and Angela ordered. The bartender, whose name seemed to be Jason, looked at Catherine but didn't ask what she wanted. A few seconds later he came back with a green martini in his hand.
"Compliments of the man on the other side." He said with a thick Brooklyn accent.
Catherine hung over the bar once more to get a look. She spotted and zeroed in on him. He was certainly the attractive one, She thought. He had jet-black medium length hair, with olive colored skin and a long bumpy nose that for some reason was attractive to her. His looked was pulled together with a black shirt with a few of the top buttons unbuttoned. He was a typical ladies man, strutting his stuff.
Normally Catherine wouldn't have gone for men who were completely…oh say, in love with themselves, if you will. She liked the down to earth type of guys with more brains then brawn. But there was something about him that made her feel like she knew him.
Then it hit her. Angelo Vigeranoti, from New York City. He had been at one of her first concerts touring with Clay. He worked at the place where they were performing and he took great advantage of having all the keys to the place, fallowing her everywhere she went. Not that she minded. He had spotted her when they were doing sound check and they didn't stop talking from then. He even fallowed her into her dressing room.
Clay liked to call him her "lover," as he had said before.
Angelo and she had called each other a few times, but then lost touch. Being the unorganized person she is, she had lost the little scrap of paper with his phone number on it. Of all things, she couldn't keep track of his phone number.
Angela turned around to face Catherine and saw what she was holding.
"You ordered that?" She asked.
Catherine shook her head, not taking her eyes off Angelo from across the bar. Angela traced her field of view and saw whom Catherine was completely mesmerized in.
"Isn't that Angelo?" Angela asked with a smile.
Catherine nodded, for some reason having lost the will to speak.
"Wonder what he's doing here." Quiana joined in, "Go talk to him."
Catherine snapped out of it "No." She said defensively.
"Why not?" Angela asked "You talked to him for practically a whole week."
"It wasn't a week. It was, like three days." Catherine said swishing her martini around.
"So what's your point?"
"I just-".
"No." Angela said, "This is your night to have fun, remember? This is your night to FORGET about Clay. I know that may be hard for you, but you should at least make the best of tonight. Go have some fun, and stop trying to think that everything you do will be embarrassing and might end up as the end of the world."
Catherine looked around. She was still attached to Clay very much. The hardest part about letting go of someone you like, was the fear that after you do, they might catch on.
Well then that was his loss. She thought to herself.
She took a sip of her drink, and winced at its intensity. Feeling suddenly confident she smiled at Angela and walked across the black tile floor. Feeling her heels click under her as she reached the opposite end of the bar where Angelo was standing.
"Finally decided to come see me?" he said in his strong Italian accent as he scanned the dance floor. He was much taller then her, even with heels on.
Catherine smiled, "Did you think I wouldn't?"
"I was having my doubts." He looked down and flashed his magnificent white teeth at her, "It's nice to see you again."
"You too." Catherine said, "Thanks for the drink. Apple?"
"Yes." He said, "I remembered you said it was your favorite fruit."
How did he remember that!? Catherine thought to herself.
"Yeah." Catherine said. She looked down at the granite bar as he felt her eyes on her.
"So, how is touring going?" He asked
"Fine." She replied simply.
"I heard you are going with that Aiken man. Correct?"
Catherine felt a small tinge in her chest. How badly she wanted to say yes. She wanted to say that they had been dating ever since they left New York and that they were madly in love. But of course, that would be lying.
"No." Catherine said quietly.
"What was that?" He said.
"No." Catherine said louder.
"That's not what was in the paper."
"The paper was wrong." Catherine said thickly.
"Oh." He said with a smile, "Good to hear."
Catherine sighed. "Something wrong?" he asked.
"Oh, no." She said, quickly taking her thoughts away from Clay before they stayed there for the rest of the night.
She didn't really know what to say after that little awkward moment. She looked up at him at the same moment he was looking over the dance floor and running his hand threw his black hair,making Catherine's heart feel a little light.
"Want to dance?" Catherine didn't even know the words came from her mouth. It was like she was in her own body, but wasn't in control. She gulped down her drink and watched as he smiled and led her on to the magnificent light up floor.
This night is going to be something else. She thought as she watched him dance in front of her. Where she had acquired the dance moves she was pulling off, she would never know, but she danced for a good two hours before her legs felt like they were going to give way.
The two of them walked off the dance floor laughing and leaned up against the bar again. She felt her face feel very warm as she fanned herself with her hands. He watched her for a few seconds before he caught her. She wasn't use to be looked at like that.
"What?" she said.
"Nothing." Angelo smiled, "You're just very beautiful."
A big grin spread across Catherine's face as she looked down. Feeling like a little kid, blushing and shuffling her feet.
"Thanks." She said politely.
"Can I buy you another drink?"
If he had not called her beautiful, or he had not been a complete gentleman to night, Catherine would have refused another drink. Remembering her promise to herself. But she wasn't going to say no to this man.
Smiling she accepted another drink, this time it was a milky brownish, much like the one she remembered the man standing next to her drinking. She looked warily down at it, almost refusing to drink it.
"Something wrong?" he asked in his accent.
She looked up at him from her drink and saw him smile. That was enough to make her guzzle the entire thing. She swallowed, feeling a chill go up her spine. She immediately felt the aftereffects. Her face immediately felt warmer then usually. Even warmer then it had been before. Her vision suddenly became blurrier as she put the glass down on the bar.
"Too much?" He asked smiling, "Sorry. I should have known."
"No. No. I'm fine." She said shakily.
Am I drunk? She thought to herself, No. No, I can't be. I promised myself. This is the whole point! Your not suppose to get drunk, Catherine!
Her brain immediately went to Clay. How badly he would disapprove right now. His voice rang in her head, your better then this.
I am better then this, Catherine thought. But if I'm better then this, when why did I do it?
With those last real thoughts, she was no longer in control of the night.
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MissMuffins31
Junior Member
3/8/08 Always & Forever, Clay.
Posts: 124
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Post by MissMuffins31 on Dec 12, 2008 14:45:45 GMT -8
Chapter Seven "Mistakes"
Beep. Beep. Every five minutes, the phone in Catherine's pants pocket, which were lying on the floor would beep. She had text messages, voice mails, missed calls, everything you can think of. She hadn't answered.
Catherine was awake, but with her eyes closed. Her head was pounding. She had the feeling that if she opened her eyes, she would feel dizzy. Which she was probably right about.
But there was something different about her bed this morning, she thought. It was softer then normal, and smelt better then normal. Not that old bus smell that was covered up with air fresheners. She groaned and moved her arms. Wait. She was in someone else's arm. Someone strong. Was she dreaming? She was afraid to open her eyes, having no recollection of the events that happened the night before; she decided to be brave and open then. She turned around and saw Angelo's beautiful face lying in his pillow.
No. Catherine thought. No way.
She didn't. How could she? Her head was pounding in her ears and she felt dizzy. She moved his arms out from around her and slid out of the sheets. Quickly grabbing her clothes from the floor.
She was close to tears. How could she have done this to herself? She promised herself. What would Angela say? Her heart dropped. What would Clay say? Her worst fear from last night had come true. She had gotten completely drunk, something she said she wouldn't do. And she had slept with a man she barley even knew.
Catherine quickly found the bathroom and changed into her clothes. She searched her pocket for her phone, but it wasn't there. Completely panicking as she looked at her watch. It was ten thirty in the morning. They were going to kill her. What if they left without her?
Tears began to flow down her face as she opened the bathroom door and found her phone on the floor where her pants had been lying.
Angelo grunted in his sleep. She somehow wasn't mad at him, she was madder at herself. She watched him for a minute. Not remembering anything from the night before. What had happened? She didn't want to know.
Five minutes later Catherine had hailed a cab and was sitting in the back of it looking at her phone. Feeling disgusted with herself.
She read the first text message, which was at one thirty last night.
Where are you? It was from Angela. There were a few more after that reading the same thing.
She had gotten three missed calls from Clay all around three in the morning. He had been up that late? He sounded so worried.
"Catherine? Where are you? Please pick up the phone. I'm worried sick over here." The last voice mail was from Clay also, this time Catherine could hear that he was some where between the emotions of angry, and incredibly worried.
"Catherine. Where the hell are you? It's nine thirty in the morning. We were supposed to leave a half hour ago. I hope you're all right."
She wiped away a few tear from her face as the taxi pulled up to the hotel that they were staying at. The tour bus was fully loaded and already running. Catherine's heart felt nothing but guilt as she saw Clay sitting on a bench with his phone in his hand, looking at the ground. He lifted his head as Catherine got out of the taxi and immediately jumped up.
Catherine didn't want to fight. She didn't want to argue. She saw the look on his face. It was, again a mixture between anger and concern.
"What happened? Where the hell were you?" He asked.
She didn't say a word as she threw her arms around him.
"I'm sorry." She whispered as she laid her head on his shoulder and buried it in her arms. She knew she surprised him with her actions; but nonetheless he placed his hand on the small of her back and the other gently above. They stayed like that, swaying on the spot for a while. If it were up to her, she'd stay there all day. But he pulled away and looked down at her. She could see the worry in his eyes as he searched her face.
"What happened?" He finally said
Catherine closed her eyes. She didn't want to tell him. But she knew eventually she had to. For some reason, she felt like she had cheated on him. Even thought they weren't together. It was a sense of guilt that overwhelmed her.
"I did something foolish, Clay." She said opening her eyes. She didn't want to look into his eyes, so she focused on his shoulders.
"How stupid?" He asked.
Catherine didn't answer right away. She could feel her face growing warm as more tears formed in her eyes. She quickly tried to blink them away, still focusing on his shoulders. She suddenly felt his fingertips under her chin, raising her face to once again meet his.
"How stupid?" he repeated.
It was like a truth serum, looking into his emerald eyes. Immediately more tears started to fall from her face, as her lip quivered. She had to tell him.
For the next ten minutes Catherine cried her story out to him on the bench in front of the hotel. She told him everything she could remember. He sat attentively with the same expression on his face the entire time and didn't say anything until she was finished.
"But why?" He finally asked, "Why did you do all this?"
Again more tears started flowing down her face. The reason why she did it was sitting before her.
"I don't know why." She finally said quietly.
Clay looked at her, he didn't know what to say to that. Catherine folded her hands and looked down at them, she breathed in a ragged breath as tear burned the sides of her face.
Clay shook his head and lifted hers with his hand.
"Stop crying." He said whipping her face dry with his sleeve, "Everything's fine."
Everything's not fine. Catherine thought.
For the next half hour the two sat there. His arm still wrapped around her. And to think she was supposed to still be mad at him. She wasn't even supposed to be speaking to him. And yet, the only place she wanted to be was sitting here, in his arms. It was more of the comfort factor. She had stopped crying, but would occasionally hic-up. She felt calmer as his hand slid up and down the sides of her arm.
She knew she had cried for a reason. The reason being that she had done something so stupid, and something so foolish, that she could barley look at herself anymore. She did something she promised she wouldn't do. And for a stupid reason, all to get over the man who broke her heart. And the irony was that she her head was buried in that man's chest at the moment.
***
It was midnight and Catherine was lying in her bunk bed tying to sleep. Her head had been pounding all day; so much that she almost fainted a few times. Traveling on the bus was no help, she had gotten sick twice that afternoon. But Clay had been with her all day. They both knew what she did was wrong. But the physical sickness and emotional state was enough punishment. He didn't need to yell at her. He didn't want to argue with her. The two just lied on squishy sofa all day, with a washcloth over Catherine's head.
Occasionally he would wrap his arm around her when he thought she needed it. He took care of her that entire day. The first time she had gotten sick that afternoon, she remembered running as quickly as she could to the bathroom and dropping to her knees in front of the toilet. The terrible feeling of her head pounding and her stomach churning made everything almost unbearable. Every drink- every mistake that she had drunk the night before was revisiting her. She remembered Clay pulling her hair away from her face. She knew very well that her hair was greasy and disgusting, so however Clay brought himself to do that, she'd never know.
Catherine didn't understand why he was doing all this. She felt like he shouldn't even be talking to her. She was disgusted with herself. Or was it all just the calm before the storm?
When Angela and Quiana saw that she was back they quickly jumped into questions. Both wanting to know everything. But Clay told them that one of them would tell them later.
That was what Catherine was listening to now. Lying in her bed, she was supposed to be to asleep. How could she sleep? She wondered what she had been doing this time last night. Where was she, and what had she been doing? Her eyes were heavy as she listened her story be re-told by Clay. Neither Quiana nor Angela said a word until he had finished.
"You know why she did all this, right?" She heard Angela's voice ask Clay. Catherine's heart dropped. No, she didn't just ask him that.
"To get over you of course." Quiana answered.
There was a moment of silence, "I know." Clay said.
Catherine felt a lump in her throat. So he did know.
"I know her too well." His voice went on, "I can't think of another reason why she would do something as stupid as this. To get drunk and then…I just don't understand why she would do this. And then, me being the root of the problem. Me, being the reason why she did all this. It's ridiculous."
"She's still hurt about what you did." Quiana said.
"What I did? I didn't do anything. What would you do if your best friend told you they were in love with you? I've done everything to help her get over this. And then she goes and gets drunk and sleeps with a man she barley even knows. I don't know what you want me to do anymore." Clay said angrily. "You told me to wait. To give her time to get over it. To get over ME. Well that obviously didn't work." She heard his fist slam against the table. No one said anything for a few minutes. Catherine thought that they had left the table, until she heard Angela.
"You just-" Angela started, "You just need to give her a little more time. It's hard, you know?"
"It just makes me so frustrated. This whole thing is my fault."
"It's not entirely your fault." Quiana said, "She just took what you said a little hard. She's really been trying. Jut let her be."
"Is that why you took care of her all day?" Angela asked, "Because you think this is your fault?"
No one said anything. She assumed that Clay had nodded his head, because Angela went on.
"So you don't like her like that at all?"
Clay didn't say anything. She wondered if he shook his head or nodded, or weather he was just thinking. She held her breath, as she strained her ears to ear anymore.
"She's…" Catherine's heart was pounding against her rib cage as she waited for him to finish, "She's beautiful. But I just…I just can't. You know?"
Did she hear correctly? Did he just call her…beautiful? It was the best word she could ever hear. But everything was painted black, when what he said after that came plunging down. He can't. And what was that suppose to mean? He can't. Catherine shook her head and rolled over. She didn't hear anyone say anymore. She didn't want to.
She had so many different emotions floating around she barley knew which one was the strongest. Was it anger? Was she mad at Clay again? Or was it guilt? That her problem, something she was supposed to get rid of, had been passed onto him. Or was it a bubbly feeling. The one you get when someone calls you…beautiful. Just more problems, she thought.
A few minutes later she heard footsteps walking by her bunk. Fallowed by the bathroom door closing.
"I just don't understand him sometimes." Quiana said quietly
***
Thanks for the comment! Waiting for more...I hope.
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MissMuffins31
Junior Member
3/8/08 Always & Forever, Clay.
Posts: 124
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Post by MissMuffins31 on Dec 12, 2008 14:47:25 GMT -8
Chapter Eight Dream Lover
The soft rumble of Catherine's stomach woke her during the night. Opening her eyes, she immediately knew it was much too early to be morning. She starred at the black bus wall and took in a deep breath through her nose. Her stomach gave another rumble. She hadn't eaten at all the day before. She hadn't wanted to, nor did she think she could. But she was hungry now.
She rolled over and saw a soft, blue glow against the curtains that shielded her bed. The television was on. Maybe it wasn't that early. Pulling the curtain back and crawling out of bed, her eyes adjusted to the light as she saw Clay lying fast asleep on the couch. He was lying across the sofa with his legs curled up, while his hand supported his head. Catherine smiled at his crooked glasses lying at the tip of his round nose. How he had fallen asleep in a strange position like this, Catherine didn't know. But she decided she would leave him be.
She opened the door to the bathroom and turned the light on, momentarily blinding herself from its brightness. She didn't want to eat, but her stomach protested. She would just wait until morning. She would be able to fall asleep, she thought to herself.
Her hair lay frizzy upon her shoulders, and there were circles under her eyes. She felt tired, but she seemed to be wide-awake. She hated when this happened.
The moonlight was shining through the small, blurred bathroom window onto the counter. Catherine absentmindedly traced the edge of the counter with her fingers as she looked at herself in the mirror, thinking about what Clay had said to Angela and Quiana last night. She wondered if the two would eventually tell her what he said even though she already knew, or if it would be kept a secret between the two. What could it be that made him think that he couldn't be with her? Or he didn't know? She knew she could be…irritable sometimes, but he had put up with her for a year with that. Why would it bother him now? Maybe if she cut her hair a different way, she thought, fingering one of her curls. No, she quickly thought. She had told herself many years ago, back in high school, that she wasn't going to change the way she looked or acted for any man. Even if it was for…Clay Aiken.
Trying to forget what he'd said and deciding to find out the time, she pulled her hair into a tight bun and opened the door and again found Clay lying sound asleep on the couch. He was so cute when he slept, she thought. She looked at him for a second, watching his chest rise and fall, before she turned and grabbed his blanket off his bed. She slowly laid it on top of him and carefully took the remote out from under him. She remembered back when she was younger, how she would always do this when her father fell asleep on the couch watching the football games. She turned the television off, thinking that he had probably fallen asleep watching "Jericho," which was a show that the four of them obsessively followed.
She placed the remote on top of the television and glanced over at the clock on the stove. It blinked three forty-five a.m. in bright green. She wondered how long he had been sleeping here. Her eyes traveled over the wall and stopped at the window above this sink. The sky seemed to be as clear as it ever would be. You could see every star in the sky and the bright full moon, which was lighting the small kitchen, was centered right above a tall building not far from the bus. Catherine's eyes watched the one star that was just above a tree in the distance. It was the brightest one.
The saying "don't waste your wishes on him," came to mind, as her brain began mixing up some loophole free, cute wish about Clay. She sided with the common sense part of her brain and turned around to head back to her bed.
Before she could walk two feet away from the counter, she felt something grab her wrist. Without any light, other then the moon, she panicked and turned. But all she found were Clay's slit eyes starring back at her at her through his lopsided, frameless glasses. Her mouth opened to quickly tell him she was sorry for waking him, but before she could, he gently tugged on her arm and she plopped down next to him on the couch. Taken aback at his sudden action, she looked at him with a confused expression as he wrapped his arm around her pulled her closer to him. She felt her face go through three different shades of red when she felt how close she was to him.
His eyes had fluttered closed, and she decided to play it up and lay her head on his shoulder. Her head rested in a perfect position right between his shoulder and chest. She felt his chest rise and fall, and suddenly became very aware of his arm behind her. He obviously wasn't directly angry with her, she thought. Even though he had told Angela and Quiana that he was fed up with everything. But if he was, then why were they lying together on the couch? Lying together…cuddling? Catherine felt her face turn another shade of red when the correct term popped into her head. Yeah, there was no other word to describe it.
Again, she internally yelled at herself. She was supposed to be over him. Well, technically she was. She was over the whole…rejection thing, but still, when you like someone that much, it takes time to completely forget about it. Whether you liked them for a week, or for a year. It doesn't matter. It would forever be in your memory. She suddenly felt a little more comfortable in the place she was laying and relaxed her body and slowed her breathing. He seemed to have noticed, for seconds later she felt his fingers touch the bare skin of her arm, gently sweeping up and down in the same spot. She leaned closer to him and closed her eyes. A month ago she would have done anything to be where she was now. But somehow, she suddenly felt that it wasn't a big deal. She wasn't going to over analyze every move he made. Even though she really should, because what reason would he have to be doing this? Men will forever be that stupid Rubix cube, she thought.
A few minutes later, she had almost fallen asleep when she felt his fingers stop moving and his breathing begin to slow. He had fallen back to sleep. She could still feel the very tip of his middle finger on her arm as she opened her eyes again.
She tilted her head up a little and gazed out the small window. It may have just been a coincidence, but Catherine smiled when she saw that bright star staring back at her directly out the window above the sink. Maybe someone had finally heard her.
***
The morning's sun shined through the bus window in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and reflected off the side of Clay's glasses. He felt the morning glow on the side of his face and he could see the light even with his eyes closed. He stretched his right arm and ruffled his hair. Must have fallen asleep on the couch last night, he thought. He felt himself lying flat on his back on a springy sofa with his head on the arm of the couch. It was slightly uncomfortable, but then again so was his bed. Therefore, it made no difference. He felt something heavy on him this morning, and wouldn't have been surprised if it was his dog, Raleigh.
She always enjoyed lying with him whenever she could reach him. But when he opened his eyes he didn't expect to see Catherine's curly auburn ringlets lying on his chest, along with the rest of her. He raised his eyebrows. He was so tired last night that the last memory that he could think of was watching television. Did he invite her to sit, or in this case lay down with him? Maybe so, he thought. She looked too comfortable to have just invited herself. Well that was a dead give away, he thought with aggravation. The arm that wasn't wrapped around her lifted his glasses off his nose, placed them on the top of his head and rubbed his eyes.
He had really done it this time. If he really did tell her to sit with him, he was obviously half asleep, or even dreaming. This was certainly something she wouldn't forget. Not that he would forget either. He looked down as he watched her body lift up and down as she breathed. Her hand was holding onto his shirt while the other seemed to be wrapped around her own torso. He gave a small half smile. There was something about her that made him feel attracted to her this morning, more than usual. Shaking his head from the thought before he got himself into trouble, he slipped his glasses back on and squinted at the clock on the stove. It was seven thirty. Angela and Quiana weren't up yet. Or were they? He thought, looking over.
He wouldn't live this one down for a while if they saw, which he was sure they did, knowing the times they get up in the morning. Oh, had he really done it this time.
Once again, Clay looked back down at her, debating on whether or not to get up. She looked so comfortable. But he had to take a shower and meet Jerome before eight thirty. Biting his lip, he gently lifted her arm off his chest, letting her hand let go of his shirt, along with plucking a few of his chest hairs. He pulled his own arm out from around her and attempted to scoot out from under her. Clay gently put her down on the couch and breathed a sigh of relief to see that she was still sound asleep. He guessed that she picked up being a heavy sleeper from him.
Covering her up with his blanket, he watched her for a few seconds more, but quickly stopped his mind from wandering. He was not getting himself into this mess again, he thought to himself as he walked away and closed the door to the bathroom.
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Post by Aiken4ClayInSeattleWA on Dec 28, 2008 17:41:19 GMT -8
Thats awesome!!! Keep going!!!
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Post by Aiken4ClayInSeattleWA on Jul 9, 2009 10:04:28 GMT -8
Please up date this Muffin! This is a real good story and I want to read MORE! You are very good at writing, so please update!
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